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“Suicide is a Private Thing!”

I hit a moment two nights ago where we starting using the actual pill bottle and pills for H Mac’s attempted suicide. I was a tad worried, just because knowing me I would totally choke and for real die on a tic tac of all things. I mean what a way to go right? We got to the moment though and having the pill bottles in my hand, feeling the tangibility of them and the act of putting them all in my mouth and looking into the mirror to decide whether or not to swallow them was a pretty intense and a little too real feeling.

The terrible thing about though, is that moment in and of itself was hilarious. These pills were stuffed to the brim in my mouth, and one by one they began to fall and plink against the floor. I lost my shit. Not just laughing, but sobbing. It shuttered the show to a stop for a moment. While myself and Anna tried to get ourselves back together.

The mixed emotions followed me backstage and it took me quite a few minutes to get it together. With the tangible pills it was the first time the moment clicked in my mind. The frustration that Heather is feeling. She exposes her soul only to have her best friend who has turned into a monster turn on her. In that moment she’s lost everyone. Her other best friend and her boyfriend among them. She feels worthless and that’s only amplified by the fact that she’s too stupid to even get the pill bottles open.

The writer did an excellent job building all of these elements together for H Mac and it so easy to get into the frustrations and childish feeling that she’s going through, and get to a point of declining self worth that taking the pills really does seem like the only option that H Mac has, even though she’s too scared to really do it.

I’ve Been Grounded

Or at least that’s what I’ll keep telling myself as I develop this character.  Plant yourself in the reality of the world you inhabit and an onion will grow.  Giving my character what?  Yes, layers.  A layered onion of bitchiness, innocence, and stupidity all wrapped up tight with a product sticker reading H. Mac.  That’ll be my breed.

For those who know me well enough, or at least freshman year of college me, know that I spent my 19th birthday locked in my dorm eating Chinese food, hiding from an extremely intense game of Assassin, and most importantly watching Heathers.  That was my first, but certainly not my last exposure to Heathers.  From then on I made it my own personal mission to expose those closest to me to the nihilistic views of this seemingly typical 80’s teen comedy.  I’ve seen this movie so many times that my Slater impression is pretty dead on.

Lets fast forward  bit to my junior year of college, and the beginning of my time with New Line.  Bonnie & Clyde, Scott Miller, Threepenny Opera, dubious actions blah, blah, blah and the announcing of their current season.  The first musical being Heathers.  Wait, Heathers the musical?  What?  No.  Sorry, but my first reaction not positive at all.  I have a special place in my heart for this movie and I didn’t see a musical version of it being able to fit into that special place.  It’s kinda tight in there, ya know.  It took me about two times listening to the CD all the way through to inch my heart open a smidge.  A few more listens and the door was pretty much wide open.  I listened to that CD on repeat in my car until I was given Midnight Boom by The Kills in June.  I was given Heathers in roughly January maybe December.  From December to June it was Heathers on repeat.  So, God damn it, this musical wiggled its way into the black abyss of my soul and now I have the wonderful opportunity to be a part of it as Heather McNamara.  She is so delightfully stupid; which makes her honest, hilariously so, yet she doesn’t fall into the ignorance is bliss archetype that so many of her kind have the tendency to do.  She is tortured and lonely; makes her real, relatable and an all around great character to work with.

Over the next few months I look forward to spending some quality bonding time with her as well as my other Heathers, as the unity of this bitch squad is key to their unstoppable power.  Maybe we’ll even get matching tats.  We already have matching water bottles, and that’s ultimately the next step right?

Casting Announcement

heathers-1I’d be kidding myself if I said I was waiting to write this post till everything for this semester was more finalized when in truth it’s really just because I haven’t gotten around to it.  I do have lots of exciting things to come for this year, so get excited.

I will be doing two shows americanidiot-1and a concert with New Line Theatre’s 25th Anniversary Season.

The season kicks off with Heathers the Musical in which I will be playing the dizzingly ditzy Heather MacNamara.  It runs October 2nd- 24th at the brand new Marcelle Theatre.

Next I will be doing New Line’s 25th anniversary concert entitled 25 to Life! which runs January 5th and 6th at the Sheldon Concert Hall.

Finally I will be playing the troubled young Heather in American Idiot running March 3rd-26th at the Marcelle Theatre.  11745604_10153009517573240_2822323080007849613_n

How To Create Success As An Actor

Marketing 4 Actors

Actors! You are in control of your own destiny! Follow my 9 steps to create your own success as an actor- Save this picture! Print it out- put it on your mirror, desk, fridge…everywhere! Don’t miss a step- they are all crucial to your success as an actor!

Untitled Infographic

If you want to download this ‘Path to Acting Success’ as a PDF (and aren’t a current mailing list subscriber) CLICK HERE!  If you are a subscriber…check your email you already have it!

If you liked this… share it below and go to the comments and let me know what step you are at and where you might need extra help or info! Maybe I’ll make your journey or question into my next blog!

Until soon!

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Casting Announcement: Legally Blonde

It has been quite some time since I’ve updated this bad boy, but it’s been the busiest semester I’ve ever had, and now that the school semester is over I’m not slowing down. I’ll be working on two shows this summer. One I’ve already announced, Threepenny Opera, and in recent developments, Legally Blonde; which I will be taking on the role of Elle Woods at Take Two Productions. I am beyond stoked to do this role.  I believe there was a time in elementary school that I had convinced myself that I wanted to go to Harvard Law School, and used the study montage more than once as a motivational tool when school became stressful.

Show Dates & Times:

July 24, 25, 30, 31 at 7:30 pm
August 1 at 7:30 pm
July 26 at 2:00 pm

Bayless High School Auditorium
4532 Weber Road, St. Louis, MO 63123

Hope to see you all there.

A Look Back: Another Openin’ Another Show

We finally made it.  This weekend marked the opening for Bonnie & Clyde, and I feel as if it crept up on me and took forever, if that’s even possible.  I’ve been performing since I was in elementary school in many different venues and variances in audience, but this show is special.  It’s my first professional theatre experience, and God Damn It! I was nervous.  I always get nervous though; in a “Why do I do this to myself kind of way.”  It’s almost become comforting now, and I usually take the day to reflect on why I got into performing in the first place.

First of all being a kind of an only child, shout out to my half-brother Mark (you da best), I got majorly doted on, thanks mama, and went through some big pretending phases i.e. I was Ariel, a dog, and a cat.  I was completely committed to those characters, and I have a scar to prove it (I fell of the couch when I was a cat.)  These pretending to be other people and animals garnered a lot of attention, and I basked in it, and viola a performer was born.  That and I got to where a cat tail once and swish my little booty across the stage.  From that cat tail moment on I’ve constantly been in shows, and I didn’t have a break in performing until college when I took up writing.  That means at least three times a year since I was seven I’ve had opening night jitters.

This shows opening has been unique in many ways.  In all of the openings of the past, that night was the first night that we had put the show in front of an audience.  New Line does a preview kind effectively easing us into the process.  However; New Line also get reviewed, and that is something I have never had any experience with, so while was saying it was going to be fine I was fetaling in a corner of my mind.  Also New Line has an after party where the cast and audience can mingle and interact under the calming influence of booze and mood lighting.            All of those changes in how I normally experience openings collided into a whirlwind of emotions.  Now, I realize I’m making myself sound like a neurotic mess, and I am, up until about three hours before the show, and then slowly the panic ebbs and all that is left is intense excitement and pride in the theatre that we have created over the course of the last few months.

  Bonnie & Clyde is, dare I say, my favorite show yet.  It has all my favorite things.      Great music, rich history, guns, and sexual tension galore.  Bonnie Parker is a bad good girl if that makes any sense, and playing her has been so much fucking fun!  There have been so many people who have guided this character and my portrayal of her, and I thank them for that, ’cause lord knows she wouldn’t be able to hold a candle to Matt’s Clyde without them.

When I first saw Bonnie it was as this sexy, manipulative seductress, and Scott helped me see that only how she saw herself.  In reality she is a girl, a girl stuck at the age of twenty with huge dreams and no way of ever achieving amongst the soul crushing circumstances of the depression in the middle of the Dust Bowl.  Once I’d gotten that in my head Dowdy was there to help me answer questions about her.  Questions that no one would ever know the answer to, but instead would add layers to Bonnie and keep her from being one note.  Lastly Alex, my roommate, the one I’m supposed to be sharing this blog with has helped me tremendously.  Even after rehearsal is over we talk about the show, and about Bonnie, and the more we talk the more we discover.  He’s the only person in this production who’s directed me before so he knows my habits bad and good, and helped me keep from doing them.  With all of this guidance I feel as if I’ve grown as actress and singer and maybe even poet ;).  I feel as if I got a free acting and vocal lesson every rehearsal, or at least that’s how I tried to see it.

I urge everyone to come this show.  There has been a lot of hard work put into it, and it’s fun to see it pay off.  I hope to see everyone there.

All the Best 😉

Larissa White

A Look Back: The Rhythm and the Flow to Things

At this point I would love to say that I have the show completely memorized back to front, like the back of my hand, and all that jazz, but I can’t.  What I can say is that I have the show memorized enough to really start playing around with it, and this is one of my favorite times in the whole rehearsal process.

The discovery and finding the rhythm and the flow to the show and especially to Bonnie.  As Alex has so wonderfully pointed out to me several times I have a very distinct vocal pattern.  It would be very easy to impersonate me.  I have this habit of breathing into my words and making sounds either before or after; especially if I don’t know my lines.  So, at this point in the process I am very much aware of it, and I am hell bent on sounding like Bonnie now not like Larissa, and I finally feel like I’m making some headway with this headstrong character.  I also feel like I can start experimenting with different things and playing around.  It’s scary awesome you can be in it sometimes, and that’s one of the reasons that I do love performing ever so much.

Today I realized that the show is only two weeks out from now, and holy shit I nearly had a heart attack.  This process has completely zipped by.  This week will be another one of full runs, and then

after that we start adding everything in, and then we get to show you guys what we came up with.  I fully intend to have a blast this week with Bonnie and really let her flourish, and see what she can become.

A Look Back: Ravishin’ Redhead

School has started and things have gotten really crazy.  I probably shouldn’t be writing right, but doing my homework, but oh well I don’t want to work on that right now.  There are more important things to do; like tell everyone how I dyed my hair.

I’m taking the John Malkovich approach and creating my character from the hair down.  The other Alex and I dyed my hair.  Now, I have dyed my hair many a time, and by many a time I mean that I’ve been to the salon and had someone else dye my hair for me, so I was just a tad bit nervous for how this was going to turn out.  Alex and I put it off for a couple of days debating on whether or not we wanted someone with a little more experience in the dyeing department to help us, but in the end we said “Fuck it,” and decided to we’d just go for it.  From this experience I have learned some very cool things that you all can choose take with you or not.

1) Dye is awesome, and ours was a pretty purple. (My favorite color.)

2) It makes your head itch the longer you have it on.

3) If you use argan oil in the dyeing process it makes your hair soft.

4) Postpone washing your hair as long as you can after dyeing it to let the color set.

5) I don’t know if I made the one above this up.

6) If you draw penises and flowers in your hair with the dye it doesn’t show up after you wash it out.

7) Thank God there aren’t penises and flowers visible in my hair.

8) Make sure you have a place to wash the dye out of your hair.

9) If you don’t you can just hop in the shower.

10) Be careful not to get the dye in your eyes.  (Be smart people)

11) Clean out the applicator bottle.

12) If you don’t it explodes!

13) Use a bowl and a brush if it is available to you.

14) If not use the applicator bottle.

15) If not use your hands.

16) Wear rubber gloves.

17) If your hair starts to fall out well…

18) Hair grows back.

Good Luck,

Larissa 😉